The closer that school gets the more jittery I get... I mean, I could get lost on the way, *trust me, is likely to happen* I could wind up being overpowered by my classload, or broke... wait, the broke thing is already here. What could happen is that I would be in debt for the rest of my fraggin life for a major that won't do me any good.
It sucks... it really really sucks. And what if I get stuck in a group that I just can't stand? I hear those that try for the same major end up in all the same classes in colleges this small.
Not that I have had any problems with the writing classes I've had so far, but what if these are... sane? That would really be bad.
And then TB's out of town, so I'm all by myself on this HK thing, but it's not really that big a deal, since it's good for the week...
But PLEASE, if you're still reading, Please go read this week! I swear that we're still updating. Just cuz the artist ain't here in the flesh doesn't mean it ain't working.
And that's another problem. I feel like a lackey, a PR man, and that it's considered TB's comic merely cuz she's the artist. When the real fact is I'm the one who wrote it, I'm the one who designed most of the characters...
Maybe I'm just adding it to the pointless angsting I've been doing lately. If they're too dumb to figger out WHAT writer means they don't deserve knowing what I've done.
Am I jealous? Nah, don't have time to be. I have two weeks and I still haven't gotten my financial info straightened out. I don't think I could handle being the artist on top of the schedule I'm about to start.
I have to go to the doctor's with my G-ma tomorrow. She's having dizzy spells. I hope it's nothing, Gramma is pretty cool. I wouldn't want her to be any other way... cept a lil less anal.
Speaking of which I never really told anyone about the reason I never borrow... And I don't believe I will. Let's just say I'm better off... wait... now I see what the problem is.
See, something that wasn't actually my fault, was held over my head from the time I was eight to the time I was nineteen. It nearly broke me, but it did teach me that borrowing just isn't worth it. And here I am borrowing at least 5500 per year... I don't know if this is going to work out.
now... happy thoughts... need happy thoughts... Oh! I went out and got Kodocha book 2 today! And while I was standing in line I found a rewrite of Journey to the West! I'm gonna take it with me to read tomorrow while Gramma's being tested.
I shouldn't be worried. I mean... everything is meant for a reason, what is meant to be will be, and worrying doesn't add any time to your lifeline. Or anyone elses.
Yeah, I know this is long, but like I said, TB's outta town, so I feel the need to... talk. It's weird tho, she took her laptop with her so she's checking up on me like daily... Sometimes I feel like a pet, ya know? I mean TB is great, closest thing to a best friend I have, but she's a lot like my mom. Those type of people tend to 'mother' and the next thing u know, I, a 21 year old jr in college is following them around like I'm on a leash. But I guess it's better then being alone to rant on and on like I'm doing here...
I've never had problems with my identity... it's just other's seem to. I don't make a good pet over all, I'd make a terrible girlfriend, and I don't have the patience to deal with people on a regular basis as is. I'm not a challenge, I'm not a pet, I'm sure as hell not you're new protege. And no where in no way am I you're fraggin best friend just because you like what I write! I have an attitude problem... and the problem is with what other people think my attitude should be.
There's a reason my name is Ice Queen. I can be a Byotch when needs be. I just... I just... I dunno. I just wish I could... NOT have to borrow anything. Then everything would be alright, ya know? No worries other than what type of grades I'm getting... No looming guilt trips, no side comments about something that I fraggin well didn't even have... no being led like a puppy by those that think they have power over me... hell. Looks like my life isn't going to be what I want no matter which way I turn.
I mean... everybody has a boss, right?
Current Mood: 
bitchy
Current Music: Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World